Am I A Failure In Your Eyes?
That is the question I really want to ask my parents. It just seems that I am to them. They’re pissed off at me because I don’t want to continue in my program. Geeze…it’s not like I’m dropping out entirely. I’m continuing in photography night classes instead.
For this past week all my parents have been saying to me is…
- “Look at your life.”
- “Look at where you’re going.”
- “What? You’re gonna learn things from watching Montel?”
- “You need to go find a boyfriend.”
- “You need to start planning for a career.”
Like fuck….it just never ends at my house. There was so much more other shit they said to me this entire week that has really put me off the edge. They don’t understand that the things they say to me affects how much I actually like them. They’re just setting themselves up for losing me in the future.
After saying all this bullshit to me, guess what happens a few hours later? They ask for my fucken help with something. Like geeze…if you were nice to me then maybe I’ll help you. Why does this happen in my life. Seriously…I fed up with the bullshit in my family.
Like it seems I am the failure in the family to them. What my sisters didn’t fuck up?? My younger sister, let’s see what she did.
- ran off to another city on new years with a group of guys
- cussed off at school and stopped going back in high school
- she has yet to graduate from high school or even attend college
- she’s fucked more guys I can count on one hand
- she got knocked up
- she moved out not once…but twice
- she got caught stealing at an amazement park
- she would leave the house at all hours of the night
And I’m the failure????
Then there’s my older sister. Let’s look at her life…
- is in extreme debt to my parents
- went off to university and played with the boys
- did some drugs and partied so many times a week in university
- just comes home to shower and eat. She’s never here
- is a fool in love with rushing into marriage and not even being together with her boyfriend for long
- has purchased a home…again rushing into things…heck she doesn’t even have the money for it…loans, loans, loans *shakes head*
- would rather let my parents pay for things then help out by giving money
Once again, and I’m the failure????
They are driving me to the edge…and I’m not joking. 
Hey my name is Tina Silva. I'm a 22 year old college student who enjoys life in Hamilton, Ontario. I have a passion for photography and enjoy music, movies, reading, and traveling.
November 23rd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I’m so sorry you’re going through all that.
) and that meanwhile you’re doing the things you like. Probably you have a future with photography, you can make a career as a photographer.
From the parent point of view what I can say is that probably your parents are trying to avoid that you make the same mistakes your sister’s did. They want you to graduate, have a career and succeed in life. You are already confused and they aren’t helping you out acting like that.
Try to tell them you need a time out to think and sort out what you want from your life (you probably already have
If they are like old fashion Portuguese parents I know what you are going through.
Keep smiling, don’t let this put you down. AND YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE!! Keep that in mind.
November 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
[...] They don’t see it the way I see it which becomes really frustrating. It also seems that I’m a failure in their eyes…which is quite upsetting to [...]
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Laura has some good advice there
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this, hun but it does sound as though they are just worried about you and want the best for you.
You’re not a failure! You need to do what is right for YOU.